


A Funny Thing Happened Upon Our Way Back to Paris"

by DebbieF



Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:08:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28015206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DebbieF/pseuds/DebbieF
Summary: This is a sequel to "When the Garrison Came Tumbling Down" posted in 2017.Link to the original story is: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10489152/chapters/23138970, for those to either re-read or for newbies.Originally asked for by dont_hate_me01, who wanted to see an adventure with d'Art and SebastienAlso Elenduen wanted to see d'Art trying to get older Musketeers to take him seriously.This story takes place about three years after the original story. D'Art earned his pauldron when he turned nineteen and since both he and Sebastien are the same age this makes them twenty-two years old.Flashbacks are in ItalicsSee Notes at bottom++++
Comments: 10
Kudos: 7





	A Funny Thing Happened Upon Our Way Back to Paris"

_Garrison_

Two tired and disheveled looking Musketeers rode back into the Garrison. They were nearly a week late in returning, and d'Artagnan knew that even though he was older now that Athos, Porthos and Aramis would still worry over him. It was frustrating and caring all at once but it did grate upon him at times.

"I hope Captain Athos won't be terribly annoyed with us because we're overdue." Sebastien was happy to be back. It meant that he'd get to see Constance now. D'Artagnan knew how he felt about her but he needed to save up more before he contemplated proposing. In some eyes Sebastien was considered too young for married life as a soldier but he remembered his own parents had been much younger than he when they exchanged vows.

"You know being one of the youngest in the regiment, I'm getting fed up being questioned whenever I give an order. After all Athos made me one of his lieutenants." A loud sigh escaped past his lips. "Tis discouraging at times."

Not knowing what that had to do with having the captain angry with them, Sebastien patiently listened to his friend vent. Having been the recipient of this particular topic many a time, he tried his best not to roll his eyes. "If only you could grow a proper beard," teased Sebastien, his smile fully coming out, "that might go a long way to help your cause." The Gascon's scowl told him he'd said enough.

Riding to the stable, they got down from their mounts to turn them over into the capable hands of the youngsters who worked for them.

Slowly approaching the captain's office, d'Artagnan spared the other young man a brief look. "Do you want to go first?"

"I'll give you that honor. Perhaps when he sees your face Athos' ire may go by the wayside."

A half snort, half muffled laugh escaped d'Artagnan. "Where have you been working the past three years?" He rapped upon Athos' door before entering.

++++

_Inside the captain's office_

Nearly every time he lifted his head, Athos noted piles of papers magically appeared upon his desk. They grew exponentially of late, as his tired eyes could attest. Grumbling under his breath, he felt in need of some brandy. Making everything worse was the fact that young d'Artagnan and Sebastien were late. Knowing how competent the Gascon usually was gave him hope that they had been detained by something trivial. Sebastien too had come a long way in his training as a Musketeer. However, the two of them combined could find more trouble than the inseparables all put together. So deep in thought was he that when the knock came Athos' head jerked up so hard it gave him a headache. " _Entrer!_ " he barked.

"Reporting back from our mission, Captain." D'Artagnan kept a safe distance from Athos' narrowed-eyed gaze. Last time a mission went sideways, his ears ached for days afterward from the older man's bellowing.

Gladly pushing papers aside, Athos leaned forward. Taking stock of the young men, he had not noted any outward wounds. Of course his scrutiny could not see through layers of clothing. "You are both a week overdue."

Refraining from stating the obvious, d'Artagnan bit his tongue. Instead, he reached inside his doublet to slip his hand inside the hidden pocket there. Handing off the missive to Athos, he stepped back from the desk deeming it a safe enough distance from his old friend swatting a hand up the backside of d'Artagnan's head.

Knowing that what was contained within the letter was meant for the king's eyes only, Athos placed it safely within his desk drawer. "Problems along the way?" He sat back in his chair getting comfortable, waiting to be entertained by what surely would be an interesting tale. "Where are my manners?" Motioning for the men to seat themselves, Athos stared directly at d'Artagnan. "Go on," he urged.

Exchanging brief looks with each other, d'Artagnan took the lead. Even after three years in service to the Musketeers, Sebastien was still unnerved by Athos. As he began, his hands went flying everywhere while beginning to speak. Twas a habit that d'Artagnan still couldn't break, being a Gascon one literally spoke with their hands. "You see a funny thing happened upon our way back to Paris..."

++++

_FLASHBACK_

_En route to Paris_

_Having accomplished their assignment in Rennes, d'Artagnan and Sebastien looked forward to being home in around six days, give or take. "I know someone who'll be pleased to see you upon our return." The blush that stole up his friend's face told him all he had to know in that regard._

_"You need to get a girlfriend of your own soon and stop teasing me about Constance."_

_Pulling a face, d'Artagnan shrugged a shoulder. "Been too busy training the new recruits and being upon missions with Porthos and Aramis." At least the recruits never appeared to question his authority. That was something at least._

_"I've seen the queen push several of her ladies-in-waiting in your direction," grinning, Sebastien glanced sideways at the Gascon. "You must be awfully picky."_

_"None of them really appealed to me. Then again they all look at me with marriage in mind." Rolling his eyes, d'Artagnan tried not to think about it. "Marriage isn't a priority in my life right now. If ever."_

_"Your tune is going to change pretty fast when you do meet someone you hit it off with." Sebastien's eyes brightened with thoughts of his own love._

_The two men kept bantering back and forth, until they came upon an overturned wagon along the rough path they traveled. A young woman sat near a broken wheel, crying. Immediately both of them leapt from their horses to give assistance to the distraught woman._ _As they stood in front of her, they froze hearing sounds of multiple weapons being cocked from behind their backs. Disgusted with themselves, for how easily they'd been taken in by this charade, they traded frustrated looks._

_"We've been royally played," admitted d'Artagnan, glad for once that none of the inseparables were here to witness their embarrassment._

_"We'll not live this one down for awhile," hissed Sebastien._

_"Let's hope we 'live' period. She," d'Artagnan jerked a thumb in the woman's direction, "has blood in her eye."_

_"Musketeers, eh?" she cackled, noting their pauldrons. Drawing closer to them, she eyed them up and down. "Are you sure you're not the ones masquerading? You boys appear to be rather young to hold such a lofty position."_

_Now that he got a good look at her, d'Artagnan realized she wasn't young at all. "We carry nothing of worth that you'd want to take."_

_Knowing they were soldiers, she had to agree. "Your weapons will do enough."_

_Stiffening at her words, d'Artagnan glanced at his friend. Neither of them would be safe riding these roads back home without anything to defend themselves with. The cut-purses behind them hadn't moved and so he couldn't be sure how many of them there actually were. Still, he had to risk it. In a move Porthos would have been proud of, d'Artagnan quickly spun around to land a roundhouse punch to the cut-purse's jaw._

_Immediately Sebastien did the same to the one behind him as well, taking the voleur by surprise. Happily it happened that there had only been two men along with the woman. After tying both unconscious men to a nearby tree, he turned to d'Artagnan. Finding the Gascon standing rigid with a pistol trained at his head, Sebastien's heart sank._

_Looking down at the men that had been with her, she frowned. "Good help is so hard to come by these days."_

_Feeling silly to be held helpless by this woman, d'Artagnan tried to figure out how he could get the upper hand._

_"Why don't you just cut your losses and leave us alone," remarked Sebastien. "Your men can't help you now."_

_"I've got eyes in my head," she snapped. "Good for nothings I picked up in the last town I passed through." Looking at the Gascon boy with a critical eye, she cackled again. "I ain't coming away empty handed after all."_

_D'Artagnan suddenly felt vulnerable, realizing what the woman referred too. Sometimes he wondered if that's all the older Musketeers saw when they looked at him trying to give them orders. Just a good looking kid trying to pretend he was old enough to play with the grown-ups. Shaking off those dark thoughts, d'Artagnan really couldn't believe that this was happening to him again. But her words confirmed it._

_"You'll bring me in a goodly sum and I know just the person to sell you to." Her gaze swept over the young man again and then locked onto the other one. "You're not bad either but this one beats you hands down."_

_Sebastien couldn't let this happen to his friend. Sang de Dieu! He was a Musketeer not some untried boy that didn't know one end of a blade from another. Backing away from them, he gave the impression of being defeated. Catching d'Artagnan's eye, Sebastien tried with just a look to let the other man know he wasn't giving up. Turning away, he went over to his horse._

_Watching Sebastien leave, for a moment d'Artagnan felt panic fill him. That was nonsense, of course, as he knew his friend wouldn't abandoned him to his fate. When she kept shoving her pistol in his back, he began walking in the direction of the broken down wagon again. "Now what?" He kicked out at the wheel that laid upon the dirt._

_"Since my two inept companions aren't any help you can fix the wagon up."_

_This d'Artagnan could do but with a twist. What she didn't know would eventually come to bite her in the ass when it happened later... or so he hoped. When finished, she bound his hands together and watched him climb rather clumsily into the the wagon. Thoughts of his mentor and what Athos would have made of d'Artagnan's current predicament made him internally wince._

_++++_

_PRESENT DAY_

Pulling the drawer open, Athos retrieved three empty glasses and a bottle of aged brandy Treville had gifted him with. Setting them down, he filled them halfway. Sliding two of the glasses toward the younger men, his lips threatened to curl upward. "From what I have heard thus far you two have earned this."

"Oh it gets better," offered Sebastien, taking the proffered drink.

With one brow arched, Athos focused upon d'Artagnan once more. His protégé's nose was nearly buried in the glass he had given the lad. "Do keep me amused, child. After all I am your captive audience."

_++++_

_FLASHBACK_

_Having braced himself for the inevitable accident, d'Artagnan was ready for it. Sadly he couldn't say the same for his captor. The wheel, he was to have fixed, broke away making the wagon tilt precariously until it fell all the way over. He rolled with the fall in such a way that he escaped injury. The woman, however, had gone flying past him to land with a crash upon the hardened Earth. Taking full advantage, d'Artagnan made a grab for the weapon that had also gone flying out of her hand. Standing over her, he grinned for all he was worth. "Seems you won't be filling your purse after all."_

_Sebastien had come up with a plan of his own to free his friend. They had never been out of his sight, as he'd been trailing them ever since they'd left. Coming upon them he found that the Gascon had rescued himself. D'Artagnan stared back at him in disbelief. "Where have you been?"_

_Laughing, Sebastien shook his head. "I've been following you the entire time waiting for my moment to spring. Didn't you believe I'd come up with a plan?" Pretending hurt, he pouted. Sebastien had perfected the technique with helpful tutoring from Aramis._

_"That look only ever works upon me when Aramis attempts it," huffed d'Artagnan, with an eye roll thrown in for good measure._

_"What do we do with the cut-purse now? Drag her all the way back to Paris?"_

_"We'll pick up her two co-conspirators upon the way back and drop them all off at the next town we pass through. Let the local authorities take care of them."_

_"I agree," said Sebastien. "We've had more than enough delays because of this riff-raff."_

_"I believe you're more worried about what Constance would say because of our tardiness rather than the wrath of our captain," teased d'Artagnan, getting his own back at the other man's expense._

_Ignoring the Gascon's words, Sebastien stared at the wreck and whistled. "Obviously you had a hand in your own accident."_

_Chuckling, d'Artagnan realized the other man was embarrassed. "Tis a story to tell my brothers later. More than likely at Porthos' apartments since he has the best liquor around." Motioning for Sebastien to help him with the wagon again, both of them fixed it correctly this time. The woman was still unconscious which made it easier to tie her up. Placing the voleur in the back of the wagon, his friend kept her company. Tying up their horses to the back, they were then ready to set out to pick the other canailles up._

++++

_PRESENT DAY_

"A lively tale." Athos sat quietly, having taken everything in. "I am sure Aramis and Porthos are going to be interested in hearing it as well." Going back to his paperwork, he noted the two young men were still seated. Without lifting his head up, he waved his hand at them. "Dismissed."

A tad bewildered, both of them weren't going to press their luck with the officer. Sliding their chairs back, they quietly filed out of the office.

"Wasn't that a bit too easy?" whispered Sebastien once they were outside.

Scratching at the chin hair trying to come through, d'Artagnan sighed. "One never knows the mood Athos is going to be in. I always take what I could get."

"Don't look now," hissed Sebastien, "but here comes more trouble."

Frowning, d'Artagnan followed his friend's gaze and ended up locking eyes with Ragener. The older solider questioned him every single time he gave the man an order. D'Artagnan wondered what was behind the other man's look of unhappiness this time.

"Did you want something, Ragener?" Standing his ground d'Artagnan crossed his arms, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Hopefully twould be upon Ragener's head.

"I've been waiting for you to come back and rescind your orders that I have to muck out the stables for the next few months," growled Ragener, thinking it was ridiculous having to take orders from such a pup.

"You do recall why I gave you those orders do you not?" fired back d'Artagnan, his irritation growing.

"Oui," Ragener's head bobbed up and down twice. "Because of the fight I got into with Liam."

"Do you remember what your fight was all about?' D'Artagnan wasn't going to let this go, trying to make his point.

"Liam was being an ass about me shirking my duties over in the armory."

"And I went directly over there to find that nothing had been cleaned nor put in order as I had directed," snapped d'Artagnan.

Chin jutting out, Ragener was fed up with this kid. "So what that a few swords and such didn't get maintained the way you wanted?"

"Our men depend upon those weapons to be in prime condition when they go out upon missions." Stabbing a finger in the air, d'Artagnan's Gascon temper came to the fore. "The responsibility for those weapons were yours." Noting Ragener's fingers twitching over his own blade, d'Artagnan wanted nothing more than to test the other man's mettle. So slowly he drew out his sword from it's sheath. The sliding of metal from it was the only sound to be heard. Toying with the weapon, as if only studying its beauty, d'Artagnan waited for the other man to say something.

Swallowing hard, Ragener wasn't a fool. The boy's prowess with a sword was legendary. He'd already had a good sword arm upon his arrival to the Garrison. Having been honed under Athos' skill, the lad was deadly. It wasn't worth his life. With his pride down around his feet, he backed down. Ragener needed his commission and would be a fool to question d'Artagnan's orders from now on. With a stiff nod of his head, he said, "I'll see to the stables as ordered, Sir."

"I wonder how humble that pie was to swallow," laughed Sebastien, brown eyes twinkling.

"Better than the cherry pie I had at the canteen before we left here I'll wager." About to go back to his quarters to freshen up, d'Artagnan glanced at Sebastien to remark, "I think you should get cleaned up before going to visit with Constance don't you?"

Covered with dust, Sebastien grimaced. "I was so eager to see her I was going to go straight to her house. My thanks for reminding me."

"Just part of my job." With a wink and a wave, d'Artagnan took off. Thoughts of having a warm bath and soft bed after a week upon the road gave wings to his feet. If the niggling feeling left from Sebastien's words of before, regarding finding a love of his own, lingered, bien, d'Artagnan would give it ample consideration. Perhaps after speaking with Aramis. That man could write a book upon the subject.

_The End_

++++

_Notes:_

_Voleur_ \- thief  
_Sang de Dieu!_ \- God's blood  
_Canailles_ \- scoundrels


End file.
